hey- lOL- all this dating stuff- I was wondering- I seem to be seeing more guys wanting to meet up for coffee or drinks instead of dinner- I find this a turn off, but my girlfriends tell me to suck it up because guys go out on so many dates nowadays, they're probably not going to be taking so many girls out to dinner. Thoughts?

I like you have had my reservations with coffee/drink dates. Here's my rules: (Again, this is just me from dating a ton of guys)

In Summary: A man who's met you in person and knows what you look like and your mannerisms ought always to ask for a real date (that requires at least 10 minutes of planning). But if online, I think it's ok to get a "feel" from the person. By date 2, he'd better be offering dinner for certain! Here's why:

1. A man who's met you in person & talked with you for more than a 1/2 hour ought to ask you to dinner (or some other date activity) b/c he should've already assessed his level of attraction & whether he's ok with your mannerisms. He should also be comfortable revealing his level of interest. (Trust me on this one - many bad relationships later...this point is huge.)

2. Internet ---

a. Men are DEFINITELY more serious about you when they ask for dinner or make plans for some alternative date option (coffee & walk at museum, local fair, a free outdoor concert etc). In my experience these men are very comfortable with themselves and their ability to get along with someone for more than an hour. This takes guts, spending power and the ability to commit some time (and it could be a total waste!). These men are absolutely looking for a relationship and have probably taken more emails and phone calls to get to know you. Learned this by dating tons and tons of men. Age has nothing to do with this one.

b. That being said, I no longer want to commit to dinner with Mr. Internet Random b/c so many online daters lie about their age, height, weight, jobs etc. Imagine my recent surprise when 5'7 ended up being 5'1!It's been such a waste of my time to meet with a guy who looks nothing like his picture or has some obvious social malfunction. Soo, your guy could fall into category b.

Feel the guy out. Within 10 minutes on the phone etc you'll figure out if he's a serial dater. Does he do the following: Ask details you already responded to in email? Say things like "I think I told you ____" "Where you the person I said ____ to?" If so, skip him.

My Relationship Rule: A man should be serious enough about you to remember what you've said (within reason). Men don't tune women out until in a long term relationship. He should be super attentive. No excuses.