Forgetting the Past & Trusting Him for the Future

The year is almost over and I know I wrote a post about some lessons I learned over the year. Here's another. As I face 2011, I can't help be a bit discouraged. The best way to battle discouragement is to take it to Jesus in prayer. During my time of prayer, I was led to a scripture that was featured today on my blog. To paraphrase it said to forget about the past and understand that God is starting something new. That statement excited me because it reminded me that the moment we live through something, it becomes a feature of the past. Only the present stretches before us. We don't even have the future. With each new day, God assigns a new portion of mercy and His love never ends.

I don't know what 2011 holds. My fears and excitement are bundled together. The idea of something new excites me and the thought of my sinful heart frightens me. Lord, help me to trust you patiently, to wait quietly on your wisdom and daily yield every atom of my being to you. Give me control over my feelings and help me to have the victory through Christ Jesus. Praise be to Jesus that He is the same every day!

Ringing in the New Year

At the stroke of midnight tonight, 2010 will end. Today, I'm busy contemplating the close of 2010 and the start of 2011. Yet as I pen "The End" to 2010, I've learned some thing.

1. Do not search for romantic love. God will bring you love in His perfect timing. In the interim, hide your life in Christ and diligently seek His love and approval.

2. Put the Word of God before you during every encounter whether you're encountering a man or a woman. The word of God is sharper than any two edged sword.  A soul's reaction to the Word of God will reveal what type of person they really are. Avoid those who reject the gospel.

3. Be obedient to God in all things.

4. Pray always & give thanks, especially for and about all things.

5. Commit your way to the Lord and trust Him to always lead you.

6. Be mindful that just as we are forgiven, we are required to forgive others - regardless of the magnitude of the wrong.

Dear one, life is not so hard when we are hidden in Christ. Claim the power of Jesus in your life. Take His life and be healed by His abundant life. Following Jesus is easy when we claim the victory through Him. We love Him because he first loved us.

As the hymn goes: "Leaning on the everlasting arms."

Discerning the Will of God

For quite sometime now I've been confused as to when I'm hearing from the Lord and when it's just something I've conjured up in my imagination. Of late, I've been deciding whether I should date someone or not. I was so confused as to what the will of God was. I prayed and prayed but could not discern the voice of the Lord in this instance.

I've learned several points with respect to discerning the voice of the Lord. (1) There are two types of wisdom. The first comes from mankind and is earthly, sensual and demonic. The second comes from God. It is pure, peaceable, gentle, willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruites, without partiality and without hypocricy. In summary of the first point, the wisdom from God should lead us to righteousness. It should encourage us to be godly, to see our wrong in a situation and it will not seek it's own because God's love doesn't. (2) When discerning the will of God pay close attention to your heart. Is it confused, anxious or at peace with the wisdom you have received? There's a difference between confused anxiety and fear. If your mind is racing and the thoughts you are having are contrary to the wisdom you've received then you ought to keep pressing God for clarification or for an answer. Use Phil 4:6-7 as your guide. Ask Him to lead you to a scripture or seek godly counsel in the form of your pastor or spiritual mentor. Fear, on the other hand, arises when God has called us to a situation that we sense could be dangerous or we are inadequate to perform. This type of fear is natural and we need to pray for God's grace and strength. We know that God will give us the strength and it is enough to accomplish the task and that perfect love casts out fear.

So next time you are struggling to decifer the will or voice of God, remember that God's will, will always align with scripture, he will never go back on His word and God's wisdom will be in the best interest of all involved.

Trusting Through the Inability to be Courted

It's not been easy to watch all my friends get married, plan vacations and anticipate their futures with someone. The older I get, the more solemnly I yearn for such an experience. A part of me can't imagine standing somewhere, perhaps under the moonlight and having my boyfriend tell me he can't live without me and he must marry me. I can't imagine the courtship or being desired but I can imagine standing over the stove, cooking dinner. I can imagine reading our children a bedtime story, cuddling by a fire with my honey and even cooking Christmas dinner for all of us. I see myself hovering over the pregnancy test waiting for the blue plus sign to materialize and visualize telling him a baby is on its way. Why can't I imagine the courtship? Why can't I imagine meeting him?

My boss wrote me a beautiful note. In it she said I deserved the wonderful Christmas experience I had. Funny thing though, do I think I deserve romantic love? It feels as though no one is ever right for me and I'm waiting for some one who doesn't exist. Yet, he does exist. I think a part of it is allowing myself to wander into love and imagine it. I know God makes all things beautiful in His time. Lord help me to wait on Your Divine timing and to trust each outcome of my life to you.

The darkness shall never overtake take you.

"The light keeps shining in the dark, and darkness has never put it out"

Hallelujah to a great God. A God who decided to manifest Himself physically so that we might know Who created us, so that we might have access to Him, so that we might have victory through Him. The Word is Jesus Christ and Jesus Christ is the manifestation of God in physical form. The Holy Spirit is that same form, only in the spiritual sense. When we accept Jesus into our hearts, we accept the light of Word. That light becomes our life and our life raises us from the dead just as it raised Christ from the dead.

The galaxies are so huge we can't measure them, nor can we see beyond them into space. We can't comprehend anything because we aren't the Creator but when we invite the Word (Jesus) into our life, we can know all things because He knows all things. This perfect love casts out fear. This Word gives us the mind of Christ.

Little one, whatever troubles you, whatever depresses you, whatever you fear - cast it on Him. You serve a God that is bigger than the galaxies, who was able to be born a child, die a man and rise again. Never ever fear the darkness - the darkness cannot and will not overtake the light that is in you. Greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world.

Finding Solace

I'll never forget that Sunday before she left me. I don't remember what the weather was like. I think it was sunny but my heart was clouded by the sensation of fear. My mother had been diagnosed with a brain tumor and my life as I knew it was soon to be forever changed. The idea of losing her was my gravest fear and fear was staring at me. I cried vehement tears and whispered in her doorway that I could never go on without her.

Without taking a moment to think she said, "Whatever happens I know you'll be OK. And remember I love you very much." She's gone now and on the darkest of days I say to myself "You are someone's daughter and you were very loved." But here's an even greater knowledge...

"...the love of God has been shed abroad in our hearts..."

"You have turned for me my mourning into dancing"

When you face mourning or something that shackles you with fear bring it to the Lord and ask for His love. You'll find a solace there.

The End of Christmas Eve - 2010

It's Christmas morning, technically. As I sat amongst my family members this evening I was blessed with knowing that we were all together but somewhat taken aback by how much has changed. Our family has shrunk and it was obvious to me that a very important person was missing. My mother was missing. I drove over by myself and watched my father kiss his girlfriend and gaze fondly at her throughout the night. I found myself yearning to hold someone's hand or rest my head on someone's shoulder. There wasn't anyone at that moment. In the loneliness of watching a world of couples it's tempting to get depressed. Lord, tonight as I lay my head to sleep, I pray for my husband - my future man. I pray he's out there looking for me, that he's lonely and waiting for someone just like me. I hope he'll know he's found a good thing when he meets me. Perhaps tonight we're both spending Christmas eve alone and feeling a bit undone. Perhaps he's up praying and feels a bit of my tears. Lord, increase my faith as I wait for you and what you have for me. Help me to be obedient to your call. Thank you for your grace. In this moment of feeling a bit undone, a little shaky about the future, please be my comfort. I've lost my mama and tonight I feel the pain stabbing just a bit further into my heart than usual. I feel a little more undone than usual. You are my comfort and my solace.

They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.

I will never leave you nor forsake you. 

No good thing will he withhold...

Does a good Christian Girl Go To A Singles Dance

So last weekend I met an adorable guy, yep another attorney, sigh and we spoke for several hours. I think I looked fabulous, I asked him about himself, made sure to appropriately touch him to show interest etc. He bought me a drink, walked me to my car and right there, kissed me. I was stunned. He never asked for my number which was odd. Now I see he's going to another dance, a dance I'd like to go to. Plus, my other crush is going. The question is, does a nice Christian girl go to a singles dance? It's not a singles dance by the way, it's just a dance. Also, does my friend at work that I flirt with want to be more than friends? We can't date, we're not allowed to. What does a girl do? This is all so confusing.

Is it 2011 yet?

So it's 4:12 p.m. on Christmas eve and a lot has happened as 2010 swerves into 2011. For 1 thing, I'm absolutely boy crazy. I was never boy crazy and now I'm obsessed. So as I near 2011, I've come up with some lists. Thank you blue eyed attorney boy for introducing me to them. I've also shredded some other lists such as: what I'm looking for in a husband (like perfect exists and you marry what you want?), having a fabulous career (I've established the fact that careers flow up and down) and moving out (I wouldn't be able to afford the fabulous leopard stilettos I just purchased).

Anyways, I have to be blunt. As I swing into 2011, I'm a bit lonely for love but not lonely for friends. I'm grateful to God for my family rebuilding itself, my job that pays the bills and my killer body that took some crushing amounts of treadmill time to achieve.I'm lonely for love. I miss being touched, kissing someone, and trying to figure out whether to order chinese or mexican on Friday night.

I hate to repeat this again but jeez, I'm boy crazy and I've NEVER been that in my life, not even in college, not after college, not even at 28.  How can a 29 year old girl be so boy crazy and clueless about boys? Also, why is it that every man lately just grabs me and kisses me out of nowhere? Why did that guy kiss me last week but not ask for my number? What's that all about? I've much to figure out in 2011 but I must say, 2010 was a blast!

From Lonely to perfect peace...heavenly peace

I'm not sure when it all changed but just as a caterpillar spins silk around herself and emerges a while later a butterfly, somewhere between the spring and this early winter, the girl that was spooled in silk emerged a woman. She emerged not just any woman but one who counts her blessings on more than just 10 fingers and thanks God for all she's been given. I've learned that life and everything in it is a God given gift and we can always rejoice in the Lord.

I desired an interesting life and God has granted me it. As I sat last night at Boulevard Bistro in Westfield, encapsulated with 8 newly made friends, I couldn't help but smile inwardly at my great  fortune. Every good and perfect gift is from above. Love is a great gift and it comes in many packages. This Christmas my dance card has been filled with family (my biological one), friends (that have always been like family) & most importantly my faith in my heavenly father.

My new year's resolution this year is a simple one...to the love the Lord my God with all my heart, soul & strength. I trust the rest to His ever capable hands. My times are in His hands.

A Few Of My Favorite Reads

Throughout the year I troll all over to find the best books, blogs, jewelry designers and magazines. Here's who made my cut for 2010...

DATING
How To Get A Date Worth Keeping
By, Henry Cloud
Great book for anyone needing a push to expand their dating vision. If you're a bit emotionally closed, try Cloud's techniques.  Taking some calculated risks will give huge payoffs.

Mars & Venus On A Date
By, John Gray
A dating classic that helps one navigate through the pitfalls of going from dating to relating.

Be Your Own Matchmaker
By, Patti Stranger
Patti gives real advice with a modern edge. This is particularly good for those who need a physical appearance reality check.

The Flirting Bible
By, Fran Greene
Honestly, this book is more about being a real person and learning how to socialize properly than it is about flirting. It'll help transform you into someone able to "work" the room.

BLOGS/ONLINE RESOURCES
Penelope Trunk's Brazen Careerist
Definitely trail blazing, honest and irreverent but with a realistic twist. Her take? Happiness is about more than having a great career.

Evan Mark Katz
A guy's guide to dating men. Solid and brutally honest in his approach.

Peter Bregman for Harvard Business Review
A soft, leadership guide with a touchy feely spin on management. A little "new agey" in spots but useful if you lead with the heart. Leading with the heart is currently trendy in management.

John Maxwell on Leadership
A solid Christian perspective. His books are a must read.

Harvard Business Review
Thought provoking and interesting each month. Read the comments to the online articles. They're almost as good as the post.

Real Simple Magazine
Need to get organized? Start here.

BEAUTY
Making Faces & Face Forward
By, Kevin Aucoin
This is a treasure trove for anyone looking to learn the "art" behind make-up. Fascinating. Kevin Aucoin was a cosmetic genius. His books will prove it over and over again.

In Style Magazine
Trendy fashion advice but with a thread of classic.

Robyn Rhodes (Jewelry)
This California jewelry designer has an abundance of celebrities wearing her wares. Love.Love.Love everything she has. This is modern, carefree jewelry at its best.

Geo Art by Cynthia Gale (Sterling Silver Heirloom Jewelry)
Heirloom quality jewelry inspired by antique pieces & design. NYC native.