If my desire isn't a sin, am I to die to it or work at getting it?

The journey from desire to freedom begins with desiring God's will. With each desire, we're called to die to it. Are all desires sinful or bad? No, but there isn't a way to know until it's given to God. Bring your desire before the Lord, lay it at his feet and ask Him to search your heart. Ask Him to renew your mind. Little by little the Holy Spirit will take the reins of your heart and will drive you towards His will. As God begins to clean up your desires, He often will send you a revised desire. He'll take what you gave Him, bless it, work your sacrifice for His good and help you to bear fruit. Eventually, God's will becomes clear and you'll be called to act, no longer on your desire, but on whatever God's will is for your life.

I think it's a grave mistake not to "work" towards a goal. Having a career, finding a husband, giving birth, serving our community, singing in church, finding a new job etc. aren't necessarily sins. They become sin when they lead us away from Christ who is our calling. When our lives are dedicated to Jesus everything works out and He blesses us. Much of these things are timing. We must be willing to wait on the Lord, hear His voice and submit to His will. Consider this:

Q: Can you get a raise if you don't ask for one?
A: Yes, but how many employers just hand you money?

Q: Can you find a mate if you don't date?
A: Unlikely, unless it's an arranged marriage!

Q: Can you get pregnant without having sex?
A: Science doesn't count. The answer is no.

Q: Should you change jobs?
A: This is a grey area. It requires guidance from Christ.You might be called to act or not act.

Q: Do I go on a second date if the first was boring?
A: This is a grey area. The Lord will show us the difference between feeling and fact here.

Sometimes you'll be called to either take no action (and that is taking action) or you'll be called to act. Entrust the desire and the details to God. He knows a lot more than you do.