X Marks The Spot - But Does It Ever Go Away?

Recently I began thinking long and hard about love for an X. Here's the one big question - do we ever stop thinking about an X that we really loved?

I've had several happily married friends with happy little broods of their own confide that they think about an X. They've scanned facebook pages, asked mutual friends for information and some have even reconnected, either in person or via email/phone "just to see how things are going". I'm asked time and again -- "why do I still think about him?" These ladies swear they're happy with the man they have.

That's a tough question to answer. Here's my little theory about love; I remind you, it's just a theory and I only have my personal experience to go on. I think love and the memories we've shared with an X last a lifetime. Our experiences with this other person are etched into our memories and when memories pop up, it's only natural to want to reminisce about them with the person we created them with.

You're probably thinking "That's great but what do I do when I'm married and with children but can't stop thinking about an X?" or "What do I do if the man I was with will never marry me and I've found someone else and I love this guy but I still think of someone else?" If you are married or have the true desire to move on, there are only 3 things to do:

1) Understand that love and memories don't die just because the relationship did.
2) Give the desire and the thoughts over to Christ in prayer.
3) Resist and flee from the temptation to contact this person. This means not looking or engaging in activities that establish any kind of connection (this means facebook, blogs, emailing, calling, talking or thinking about the person).

These thoughts are natural but they do point to a discontentment of the heart. However, this discontent will not be solved by returning to an old flame, it will be solved when we learn to be satisfied with Christ alone.