
Glasses clinked together, silverware twanged and shards of conversations from adjacent tables jutted into their conversation. He sat across from her. Her blonde hair floated past her shoulders and down her back. The ceiling fans caused golden strands to flutter across her face. He had chosen her favorite tavern restaurant as way of apology for his constant absenteeism.
“Oh what to order! I love everything on the menu.” She gushed.
He gave her a closed mouth smile as he carefully read through the menu options. He was half way down the appetizer page when she interrupted his thoughts.
“I don’t know…do I want the lamb chop, filet mignon or the sirloin?” she pondered.
He was about to remind her that she had stated earlier that she wanted the steak but she continued.
“I don’t know, I just don’t know. The filet mignon is $5.00 more than the sirloin. Is it worth paying $5.oo more?” she looked genuinely concerned about the price discrepancy.
“Tess, I’d get what you like and not worry about the price difference.” He said as he placed his menu on the table. It was obvious that he’d have to assist her with her selection prior to being able to read through the rest of the menu to make his selection. He wanted to explain that he was paying anyway so she didn’t have any worries.
Her lips puckered while her eyebrows squeezed together. “Well, the lamb looks good and I like the potatoes that come with that meal better than what they offer with the filet” she stated in obvious happy frustration. Tess always loved a great meal and seemed happiest when there were many appealing choices.
“Since the bill is on me, why don’t you select what you like? You mentioned your strong urge towards steak this evening, hence here we are.” He stated calmly as he gesticulated with the menu.
“mmm…yes. I guess I’ll go with the filet because I know I love it. But it’s not the point that you’re paying. In fact, since you’re paying…well, when someone else is paying, that’s when I like to order something less expensive. I don’t want anyone spending a huge fortune on me. I wouldn’t order the filet except for a special treat if I were paying for myself.” She spoke softly.
“Oh what to order! I love everything on the menu.” She gushed.
He gave her a closed mouth smile as he carefully read through the menu options. He was half way down the appetizer page when she interrupted his thoughts.
“I don’t know…do I want the lamb chop, filet mignon or the sirloin?” she pondered.
He was about to remind her that she had stated earlier that she wanted the steak but she continued.
“I don’t know, I just don’t know. The filet mignon is $5.00 more than the sirloin. Is it worth paying $5.oo more?” she looked genuinely concerned about the price discrepancy.
“Tess, I’d get what you like and not worry about the price difference.” He said as he placed his menu on the table. It was obvious that he’d have to assist her with her selection prior to being able to read through the rest of the menu to make his selection. He wanted to explain that he was paying anyway so she didn’t have any worries.
Her lips puckered while her eyebrows squeezed together. “Well, the lamb looks good and I like the potatoes that come with that meal better than what they offer with the filet” she stated in obvious happy frustration. Tess always loved a great meal and seemed happiest when there were many appealing choices.
“Since the bill is on me, why don’t you select what you like? You mentioned your strong urge towards steak this evening, hence here we are.” He stated calmly as he gesticulated with the menu.
“mmm…yes. I guess I’ll go with the filet because I know I love it. But it’s not the point that you’re paying. In fact, since you’re paying…well, when someone else is paying, that’s when I like to order something less expensive. I don’t want anyone spending a huge fortune on me. I wouldn’t order the filet except for a special treat if I were paying for myself.” She spoke softly.
While she emphasized not wanting him to pay for something so expensive her blue eyes darkened from their usual sky blue to a deep grey oceanic haze. He appreciated her concern for his finances more than he let on. She was a horse of different color for certain. Just sitting across from her gave him pride. He hadn’t met a woman before who was so modest and frugal with others.
“It’s really nothing. Why don’t we start with the mussels?” he said casually.
“Oooh” she exclaimed. “That’d be great. What if I don’t have room for the filet though?” Her eyes sparkled while she spoke.
“Just box half the steak if you must”. He found her usage of the word “filet” as opposed to steak amusing. He guessed that the term filet made the meal seem more special to her than if it were simply a steak. Tess didn’t like to make anything simple. She complicated just about everything and celebrated life with big splash of bold exclamations and statements of affection and never tired of contemplating the meaning of life. He wondered when she’d begin mulling over the week’s thoughts that cyclone through her head. She’d wrestle with a thought for days and tirelessly research the answer. By the time she was ready for a discussion on the thought or topic, she would’ve arrived at her position. Then she wouldn’t budge on it.ever.
Half her filet lay on the plate. She picked at miniscule pieces of potato gratin and sipped slowly at her wine. She closed her eyes while she sipped. It kept him smiling through dinner to watch her eating. She never spoke of deep things while eating. She needed to concentrate on every flavor without distraction. As she lay her fork down she began to muse.
“So I’ve been thinking lately” she started.
“I’m sure you have,” he thought kindly. This was the best part about Tess, her deepness. Whatever she was about to say, he was sure it would keep him thinking for days.
“I’m really disappointed that I’ll never be ‘daddy’s little girl’” she said. Her eyes began to look foggy and wet.
He waited for her to continue.
“My father is such a disappointment. He’s not father of the year. It really hurt me when he said I came between him and my mother when I was born. Then recently he told his girlfriend that I’m like a roommate. But I’m not a roommate, I’m his daughter!” her face flushed and her tone of voice darkened.
“I don’t like him. I can’t respect him and feel he’s useless. How do I get over it Matt?” she said slowly and with sadness.
He worried she’d burst out crying at any minute. He looked up at the ceiling and began to pray. He wasn’t precisely sure what he should say. Tess had a tumultuous relationship with her father. He wanted to say something that’d help her.
“I don’t even know if there are men out there capable of taking care of me. My father was willing for me head to a ghetto train station rather than pick me up. Remember when he left me at the airport and I had to take a bus, subway and then a train home?” she said with pools of tears beginning to wash down her face. Her makeup began smearing. Suddenly she broke into sobs.
He sighed. “Tess. I think the best way to recover from hurt and be fully healed is to ask God to help you obliterate your expectations. You’re expecting your father to act in a compassionate and caring manner towards you. The problem is that unless Christ changes his heart, he won’t be able to act like the father you’re wistfully yearning for. “
She placed her fork on her plate and slowly sipped some water. The volcano of sobs and streaming tears had leveled off.
“I know you dream of a father who will treat you like ‘daddy’s little girl’. But I think you realize that isn’t going to happen. Each time you realize that your expectations aren’t met, you’re heartbroken. While you may never be daddy’s little girl, you can be God’s daughter. He says he’s a father to the fatherless. He’ll protect you and provide for you the physical help and spiritual strength you need.” He continued.
“In terms of what’s happened in the past, I think you need to rely on the scripture that says ‘forgetting those things which are behind, we press on towards the high calling’. I think if you start forgetting the past and start depending on Christ to take care of you, you’ll find that your expectations are met through Him and dependency on an earthly father. When he starts letting you down you can remember you have a heavenly Father that will supply all of your needs.”
When he finished she resumed excising the small layer of fat around the steak. The restaurant’s noise had become a hushed lull.
He worried he’d said too much and had upset her.
“Why is it that men always treat me like that. Are all men like that?” she wondered out loud.
“They aren’t all the same. I think you are so used to the way your father is that you’ve come to fear other men are like that. You’re gravitating towards that normalcy. You need to ask God to heal your heart. Once you’re healed of broken expectations and disappointments you’ll be able to turn down men that disappoint you rather than hoping that by dating them they’ll change.” She nodded while he spoke.
“Keep in mind you must love someone for who they are today, not what you hope they’ll be tomorrow.” He stated.
“How am I supposed to get along with my dad though?” she asked with a frown.
“You have the duties of a daughter to perform.”
“Meaning?” she asked.
“You are to obey your father and give him the honor due him. Mind his wishes and be respectful. There is nothing more for you to do.”
“It’s really nothing. Why don’t we start with the mussels?” he said casually.
“Oooh” she exclaimed. “That’d be great. What if I don’t have room for the filet though?” Her eyes sparkled while she spoke.
“Just box half the steak if you must”. He found her usage of the word “filet” as opposed to steak amusing. He guessed that the term filet made the meal seem more special to her than if it were simply a steak. Tess didn’t like to make anything simple. She complicated just about everything and celebrated life with big splash of bold exclamations and statements of affection and never tired of contemplating the meaning of life. He wondered when she’d begin mulling over the week’s thoughts that cyclone through her head. She’d wrestle with a thought for days and tirelessly research the answer. By the time she was ready for a discussion on the thought or topic, she would’ve arrived at her position. Then she wouldn’t budge on it.ever.
Half her filet lay on the plate. She picked at miniscule pieces of potato gratin and sipped slowly at her wine. She closed her eyes while she sipped. It kept him smiling through dinner to watch her eating. She never spoke of deep things while eating. She needed to concentrate on every flavor without distraction. As she lay her fork down she began to muse.
“So I’ve been thinking lately” she started.
“I’m sure you have,” he thought kindly. This was the best part about Tess, her deepness. Whatever she was about to say, he was sure it would keep him thinking for days.
“I’m really disappointed that I’ll never be ‘daddy’s little girl’” she said. Her eyes began to look foggy and wet.
He waited for her to continue.
“My father is such a disappointment. He’s not father of the year. It really hurt me when he said I came between him and my mother when I was born. Then recently he told his girlfriend that I’m like a roommate. But I’m not a roommate, I’m his daughter!” her face flushed and her tone of voice darkened.
“I don’t like him. I can’t respect him and feel he’s useless. How do I get over it Matt?” she said slowly and with sadness.
He worried she’d burst out crying at any minute. He looked up at the ceiling and began to pray. He wasn’t precisely sure what he should say. Tess had a tumultuous relationship with her father. He wanted to say something that’d help her.
“I don’t even know if there are men out there capable of taking care of me. My father was willing for me head to a ghetto train station rather than pick me up. Remember when he left me at the airport and I had to take a bus, subway and then a train home?” she said with pools of tears beginning to wash down her face. Her makeup began smearing. Suddenly she broke into sobs.
He sighed. “Tess. I think the best way to recover from hurt and be fully healed is to ask God to help you obliterate your expectations. You’re expecting your father to act in a compassionate and caring manner towards you. The problem is that unless Christ changes his heart, he won’t be able to act like the father you’re wistfully yearning for. “
She placed her fork on her plate and slowly sipped some water. The volcano of sobs and streaming tears had leveled off.
“I know you dream of a father who will treat you like ‘daddy’s little girl’. But I think you realize that isn’t going to happen. Each time you realize that your expectations aren’t met, you’re heartbroken. While you may never be daddy’s little girl, you can be God’s daughter. He says he’s a father to the fatherless. He’ll protect you and provide for you the physical help and spiritual strength you need.” He continued.
“In terms of what’s happened in the past, I think you need to rely on the scripture that says ‘forgetting those things which are behind, we press on towards the high calling’. I think if you start forgetting the past and start depending on Christ to take care of you, you’ll find that your expectations are met through Him and dependency on an earthly father. When he starts letting you down you can remember you have a heavenly Father that will supply all of your needs.”
When he finished she resumed excising the small layer of fat around the steak. The restaurant’s noise had become a hushed lull.
He worried he’d said too much and had upset her.
“Why is it that men always treat me like that. Are all men like that?” she wondered out loud.
“They aren’t all the same. I think you are so used to the way your father is that you’ve come to fear other men are like that. You’re gravitating towards that normalcy. You need to ask God to heal your heart. Once you’re healed of broken expectations and disappointments you’ll be able to turn down men that disappoint you rather than hoping that by dating them they’ll change.” She nodded while he spoke.
“Keep in mind you must love someone for who they are today, not what you hope they’ll be tomorrow.” He stated.
“How am I supposed to get along with my dad though?” she asked with a frown.
“You have the duties of a daughter to perform.”
“Meaning?” she asked.
“You are to obey your father and give him the honor due him. Mind his wishes and be respectful. There is nothing more for you to do.”
Philippians 3:12-14 (New King James Version)
Pressing Toward the Goal 12 Not that I have already attained, or am already perfected; but I press on, that I may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me. 13 Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead, 14 I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.
Ephesians 6:1-3 (New International Version)
Ephesians 6:1-3 (New International Version)
Children and Parents 1Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2"Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— 3"that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."[a]
Colossians 3:19-21 (New International Version)
Colossians 3:19-21 (New International Version)
19Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. 20Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. 21Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged
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