It was 4 p.m. and her phone started to ring. Her boss was on the other end.
"Hi Nora! Can you come in here please?" Her boss said in a friendly but commanding tone.
"Absolutely." Nora replied calmly and hung up. Her boss frequently requested she head to her office. Nora thought nothing was out of the ordinary as she grabbed her pad and pen.
After knocking on the door and being told to come in, Nora sat down. She clicked her pen open and prepared to take notes. It was then she noticed her boss's frown.
"Nora..." she started with a concerned look. "I consider us friends and I feel awful asking you this question and before I even ask, I want you to know that you can certainly say no. Please don't feel that you have to agree to what I'm asking or that it's going to affect your performance in anyway. I'm asking because I know that after years of working together, you'd definitely tell me no because in the past when I've mentioned I'd prefer you not to take certain days off, there were times when you agreed to come in and there were times when you didn't. So, feel free to say no. My friend Vicki, her son and her husband are staying with me over Christmas. I accidentally got the days confused and agreed that all of you girls could be off the day after Christmas. Now I know that I already asked that you forgo taking a vacation a few months ago and normally I'd ask the others but I already know their plans and am certain they can't come in so I'm not even asking them but I don't know yours. Is there a way you'd be willing to come in the day after Christmas? Like I said, I can certainly come in but would prefer not to because my friend is staying with me." Her boss stopped and looked at her.
Nora's heart sank. She had never requested the day after Christmas off before and had always allowed her colleague to use the time to spend with her family, since she herself was unmarried and didn't have much family to speak of. Her Christmas day plans consisted of over 5 hours of round-trip driving and visiting family she saw a couple times a year. Yet, how could she say no? It was her boss and her friend was in town. While her boss certainly wouldn't put her refusal in a performance review, she had a way of making Nora feel very small and unaccomplished. Refusing her might provoke more hostility.
"Sure. I was going to visit my family out-of-state but I can always leave a little earlier than planned." Nora said.
"Are you sure? I knew you'd say no if you couldn't do it but I don't want you to feel like you're missing out on your plans. I promise to make it up to you!" Her boss said hurriedly.
"It's ok." Nora responded and pursed her lips. It wasn't but what could she say?
She left her boss's office and headed to her desk. A lump formed in her throat. She wasn't going to cry but she could feel the anger swelling from her stomach and into her head. Her head starting to hurt.
****
Weeks later Nora was still dwelling on the incident but comforted herself with the fact that her sacrifice would allow her boss a nice time. Also, she knew God would reward her for considering someone else. Yet, she couldn't shake feeling hurt and disappointed. While Nora didn't have a husband or children or even a caring family to rely on, she was looking forward to some time shopping. What made it worse was her boss's way of making it up to her, she wanted to take Nora to dinner for a girl's night. Having dinner with her boss wasn't a blessing, it was actually just more hours she'd need to submit to her boss's self focused conversation and demands. When an internal email announced an opening for an executive assistant, for the first time in six years Nora felt relief. Should she apply just to get away from her boss? She began to pray but she not only began to pray for relief from her boss but also on how to rid herself of the resentment she felt toward her. Nora knew resentment wasn't of God.
Handling an Adversary and Finding Peace
Dear Reader,
Perhaps feelings of anger and resentment are brewing in your heart against a person or situation. Perhaps the situation feels like there's no resolution or way out. I've been in that place. Each time, I'm begging God for a way out and in the meantime, I'm struggling with how to cope with the hurt, anger and resentment that turns like a wheel over and over the issue. What does the Bible say about resentment? How do we handle people that hurt and abuse us? Is it ok for us to resist the abuse? Let's take a closer look at the topic by examining Samuel 24.
In the passage we see that King Saul has returned home after a victory against the Philistines. He hears that David, whom Samuel anointed as the next king over Israel, is in the Wilderness. Saul takes 3,000 men and pursues him. Saul enters a cave to rest, not knowing that David is in the same cave. Impulsively, David cuts off a piece of Saul's robe and soon regrets his action. His men try to persuade him that God has delivered Saul into his hands but David refuses to take Saul's life. Saul is God's anointed and while David is aware that he's the next anointed king, he refuses to take the throne in that manner. In fact, he does the opposite. He approaches Saul and kneels before him. He humbly asks his adversary to not believe those that lie about his desire to kill the King and provides proof of his innocence by showing him the piece of robe. Saul repents of his envy against David and states he knows David will be the next kind of Israel. Saul leaves David and returns home.
The story showed me the importance of having mercy on our adversary and leaving revenge to God. "If an enemy hungers" we are to give him bread. We are to allow God to make vengeance but are not to exact it with our own hands. David had the opportunity to rid himself of Saul and it could easily have been argued that God had given him that opportunity. Yet David knew better. He knew that revenging himself of his adversary, even when the adversary is in the wrong, was not his place. Justice belongs to God. Not only did David refuse to kill Saul, he went out to reassure him that it wasn't his desire to give him harm (1 Sam. 24:8).
If we find ourselves in the company of our adversary, we should ever so humbly try to persuade him that we have no intention to do harm and that we will do no harm. We are called to be faithful even to the hardest of masters (1 Pet. 2:18-20). Jesus went further by saying that we are to bless those who curse us and pray for those that spitefully use us (Luke 6:27-33). We may find ourselves able to resist causing harm to another with our outward actions but our hearts are in constant turmoil. How do we find peace when being used or hurt by someone?
This very morning I found myself at that exact spot and it's not an easy place to be in! I find it comforting to know that I'm not alone. The Bible tells us to "cast our cares on Him" and that our brothers and sisters are going through similar trials throughout the world (1 Peter 5:6-10). Not only that but we can rejoice. Our feelings are precious and our tears are counted by him. Never fear what man can do to you because they can't do anything without God establishing it (1 Pet 4:19 and Job 1:12)!
Pray urgently for the ability to forgive, the ability to heal and the ability to bless amongst suffering. I promise that the moment you begin to pray, God will set your heart aright. He'll also show you what step to take next. Continue to do what's right (Gal. 6:9) before God and ask Him to make the situation right (Psalm 7:9). All will be well when we commit our way to the Lord. Amen.
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