What Do You Want

I just finished rubbing a tear off my face after watching "Bethenny Gets Married". In the season finale Bethenny states that she never thought she'd be able to have it all. She thought she'd have to choose between having a career or having a family. She learned she can have it all. I do relate. At 30 years old, I stepped away from my life and asked myself where I want to be. Then I realized I wasn't close. The more I began asking myself what I wanted, the more I realized I didn't know. Or did I know and I just didn't want to admit it?

I'm not cut from the same cloth. I've always chosen to fight, forge a new path and have refused to settle for the status quo. I have a lot of passions and dreams and while I've haven't always known how to get them, I still clasp onto them. What I've learned, recently, is getting what you want means knowing what you want and having the willingness to work hard for it. Success isn't about just showing up. It's about showing up, rolling up your sleeves and getting to work. No one has had a career or anything else for that matter come to them. That realization came after reading old journal entries and reviewing my previous blog articles. Instead of hard work, I chose the path of least resistence. I wallowed in self pity, grief and loneliness which was leading me down a pathway to bitterness. Life doesn't have to be bitter and it isn't all bad.

What is it that I want right now? Friends to enjoy myself with, to continue down my career path, and to live on my own. I want to be self sufficient. I want to be able to say I've made it on my own. I don't want to rush into marriage and motherhood. I feel there are experiences I must have. It's taken me a long time to realize that God has ordered my path and the path He's chosen is much better than my own. I have only a glimmer of its reality but I'm enjoying it. God means our lives to be good. We can't focus on every horrible situation and forget to reflect on the blessings.

I hope you take some things away from this post.

1. Life contains good and bad circumstances. Learn to accept both as the will of God. Have faith that He'll lead you out of them. It may take time but it will happen.
2. We cleave to our own path but the path God makes for us is smoother and leads to lasting happiness.
3. Learn to communicate what you want to your employers, your friends and your family. People cannot help you if you don't tell them what you need help in.
4. Getting what you want entails prayer and hard work on your part. Some things will not just come to you because you prayed. Yet, you should start and end with prayer.
5. Not every thought is from God. Ask God to help you discern the truth from a lie. This takes wisdom. Seek God's wisdom in your life. Continue on your path until God corrects you. Trust that He will!
6. Sometimes the things we ask for don't happen on our timetable. Self healing may need to occur. Ask God to grow you into the best version of yourself you can be. Only He can do the work.