No Words

Tessa sat across from him at the coffee house. Her slim alabaster fingers curled around a mug of steamy frothed milk. Her eye lashes were thick. He could tell by the tilt of her chin and clenched jaw that she was deep in thought. It was rare that she was this quiet.

"What's on your mind?" He said softly.

She didn't immediately respond. She rubbed her finger around the rim of the now half empty mug.

"Tess?" he asked a little softer. A part of him hoped she wouldn't answer; he knew whatever she had to say would mean a long conversation and he'd had a long day.

"I was thinking of her this morning." Her deep grey eyes were smoky with tears.

"Of your mom?" he said with a small sigh at the end.

"It's ok. I'm ok. I don't need to talk about it." She looked down and swirled her finger round the rim of her glass again.

He took a deep breath. To ask or not to ask? he pondered with little humor.

"What had you thinking of her?"

"I awoke alone this morning and it was weird. The memories are weird. I don't know how to describe them. Suddenly I remembered the last day we saw each other. We had gone to church, ate at Nancy's and she said good night and that she loved me very much." Tears began to drip down the sides of her face. The alternative bands from the 90s strummed on. The overweight, goth waitress gave him a look of inquiry. He probably thought they were breaking up.

"I told her I loved her very much. We went to sleep. The next thing I knew it was 4 a.m. and she was stumbling out of bed; in terrible pain. We finally drove her to the hospital. There we were, I was bending over her and her eyes rolled away from me. I knew I'd never see her again. They rushed her away and the chaplain came down. He came down dressed in a black robe...maybe it was a black outfit...I don't know. I just remember him looking like the angel of death."

He was moved. He knew how much she loved her. How much she still loved her. Tessa wanted desperately to cling to her mother. She was like a small toddler pleading for her mother to come home. He felt restless. He had no words. He couldn't fix this. There was nothing he could do to bring her mother back. He felt angry and helpless. There she was, golden, angelic and filled with angst. He knew he'd bring her back to his place, make love to her and toss and turn all night. What was he to do? What could he say?

"It's ok if you didn't hear me." she whispered through tears.

"I heard you Tessa. I just have no words, there are no words." he groaned. He reached for his wallet and gestured for the waitress.